


Back in Your Head

by petershorcrux



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Breeding Kink, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Dubious Consent, Face-Sitting, Feminization, M/M, Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sad Ending, Subspace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 09:59:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13121385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petershorcrux/pseuds/petershorcrux
Summary: “Don’t really matter if I’m real,” Benny counters, voice barely loud enough to raise above the porn on the TV. But all the same Dean hears him and that Southern drawl does something to Dean and he can feel himself getting hard again. He wants to credit it to the porn but he knows somewhere in himself that it’s not the porn that’s making his body react like this.





	Back in Your Head

**Author's Note:**

> ehhhhh, this has been sitting on my computer for like ever so now seems about as good a time as any to throw it up.
> 
> i basically wrote this forever ago and just looked back at it tonight lmao. tell me if i need to tag anything else!
> 
> un-beta'd.

Benny returns one night and Dean lets him in. 

He’s not sure why he lets him in, doesn’t know why Benny came to him, either. Dean had thought that Benny would stay in Purgatory for the rest of eternity; when Dean raises the question Benny doesn’t really reply, just rambles on about something or other and really only avoids actually answering the question.

And if Dean’s being honest, he doesn’t really care about the reason that Benny came back. He’s glad, he knows that at least. And he’s even happier when Benny passes all of the tests that prove Benny to not be a spectre or some ghost that’s come to inflict some kind of guilt and make him feel shitty about himself. He can do that on his own, anyway.

There is something different about Benny that Dean can’t really place. There’s a hunger in his eyes and Dean chalks it up to him having not fed on his way. Benny disproves this belief when Dean offers to find him a blood bank or someone who’s really into bloodletting/vampires—probably not something that he should offer, but he’s not really thinking that clearly; he’s halfway through a handle of Jack Daniel’s and he can’t really be blamed for all of the things that come out of his mouth. Not saying he can’t hold his liquor but there is a lot going on here that Dean isn’t necessarily used to or prepared for. Besides, he’d been drinking directly from the bottle on an empty stomach so it’s hitting him hard and fast.

He explains all of that to Benny unprompted and the vampire nods in response with a lopsided smirk.

Benny claims to know what Dean needs and Dean guffaws, slaps his knee (the whole nine yards) because that’s hilarious. No one knows what Dean needs, not even Dean to be perfectly honest. Benny rolls his eyes and Dean wants to posit that he should be the one doing that when Benny hits him with such a cliche line.

While Dean would like to stay up and berate Benny more on his attempts to be dramatic he can’t help but lay his head down on his crossed arms on the tables of the shitty motel’s kitchenette. He holds Benny’s gaze until the haze of his drunkenness drags him into sleep.

—

He wakes up the next morning with a migraine and doesn’t see Benny. He’d almost been prepared for it, couldn’t really expect good things in his life, he supposes.

Dean doesn’t take any medication for the migraine, he instead savours the pain and greets Sam when he comes into the their motel room. Sam had been insistent that there was a part of the case that only he could do, didn’t explain Dean what and Dean had been uncharacteristically receptive. Had stayed back in the hotel room to drink himself into that stupor that brought that dream of Benny to him.

Sam and Dean did wrap up the case that following day with Dean only slightly incapacitated by the hangover. It’s not like this is the first time he’s been hungover during a hunt and it most certainly wouldn’t be the last.

—

The next time Benny shows up to one of the hotel rooms that Sam and Dean have set up themselves up in for the night Dean is, amazingly, completely sober.

He’s also shirtless and has his fly undone. There’s a gun holstered on his upper thigh and another gun in his boot. He takes stock of the guns because he feels that he wants to shoot this ghost of Benny. 

Benny has that same hunger in his eyes and Dean still can’t really place it. He wants to ask what Benny wants (if he’s real) but he doesn’t; Dean just steps to the side and lets Benny in, following the older (much older, because he is a vampire after all) man with his eyes as he takes the seat across from the bed that Dean had been splayed out on not two minutes earlier.

Dean becomes vaguely aware that he’s still half-hard—he’d been watching porn. He hadn’t bothered to go to a bar and find someone to hook up with because he’d really been enjoying his own company. Well, not really because whenever Dean is left by himself, he ends up going over all of the mistakes that he’s made in his life. 

So really Dean is probably just punishing himself right now, regardless of the whole jacking off thing. He wasn’t even getting that turned on by the porn, if he’s being honest; Dean has some pretty deprived kinks and cheap hotel porn channels don’t really hit many of them.

Dean finally pushes the door closed and turns towards Benny. They don’t talk and there’s only really the sound of some chick being railed on the shitty TV echoing through the room and filling the silence between the two of them.

“Didn’t think you were real last time,” Dean speaks into the silence, not really looking at Benny but above the man’s head. “I’m still not sure if you’re really here, if I’m gonna be honest.” He finishes his thought and moves over to the bed and sits on the edge, across from Benny.

“Don’t really matter if I’m real,” Benny counters, voice barely loud enough to raise above the porn on the TV. But all the same Dean hears him and that Southern drawl does something to Dean and he can feel himself getting hard again. He wants to credit it to the porn but he knows somewhere in himself that it’s not the porn that’s making his body react like this.

Dean opens his mouth to say something back to that but isn’t really sure what he can say in response because Benny is right, it doesn’t matter if the man is really here or not. So Dean just nods instead of saying anything. His eyes move to the TV briefly before moving back to Benny.

And there was still that same damn look in the man’s eyes. It’s then that Dean can finally remember that look and he actually feels himself shudder a little as he looks away again. Dean remembers those moments in Purgatory, those moments when one of them would be falling apart (sometimes even both of them) and they would touch each other. 

Dean did miss that, especially when Benny would crowd him against a tree and take him apart. God, fingers deep inside of him and Dean would fuck himself onto them and by the time he came he would be crying and sobbing and clutching at Benny. Or the times where Benny would mouth at his throat and threaten wordlessly with his sharp teeth grazing tantalisingly along his throat. Sometimes Benny would even choke Dean until he came in his jeans and passed out. 

Benny in turn, when he would be falling apart would fuck into Dean until Dean’s ass was crimson red and bruised from the slaps Benny hit against his ass over and over again. And there would be lines of red where Benny dug into Dean’s ass and tore through the skin.

Benny really had known what Dean wanted. Dean had needed all of it, all of the abuse that Benny had given Dean; Dean would be remiss to not admit that it was the abuse that kept him levelled throughout his time in Purgatory. But they did eventually cut it off. There was obviously going to be a point where they got out because Dean was Dean and he would find a way out and there were things that both of them needed to do that didn’t involve each other when they did end up getting out.

And Dean wasn’t really looking forward to making the slip he’d made when Benny had roughed him up all nice and pretty. Dean was bleeding, per usual, ass red and radiating heat and stripes of Benny’s come covering it. Dean had arched up into Benny’s touch and presented his ass obscenely when Benny slid two fingers in alongside his dick and God Dean hadn’t felt that full in so long. And there had been that part of him that ached for that feeling of fullness and completion and he’d screamed, “Daddy” as he came from the stimulation of his prostate and the feeling of fullness and Benny pounding into him. 

That had been something that Benny wasn’t expecting and it was something he was into, called Dean his “baby boy” as he fucked his come into Dean.

Naked, with come leaking out of his ass and blood covering his skin, Dean had cried.

That wasn’t a place that Dean was all that excited to be back in mentally. But even as he told himself that, Dean could feel his hole aching at the thought of Benny filling him up and using it again. Dean shivered and licked his lips as he stared over at Benny.

“What d’you think I need?” Dean asked biting into his lip until it bled. He could feel tears pricking in the corners of his eyes and he was disgusted with himself for crying like a fucking bitch.

“You need Daddy to take care’a ya,” Benny supplied with a smirk.

Dean shivered and bit into his lip more and he felt blood pearling up and dripping over his bottom lip. He nodded minutely and before he could even really finish the movement Benny was there and just completely in his space, completely engulfing him with his looming shadow. Dean let out a small whimper.

“Need Daddy to breed that ass of yours, fill you up,” Benny continued gruffly. His gaze never moved from Dean’s and Dean wiggled in place in response. He didn’t look away though as he tightly gripped the sheets underneath him.

It was that statement that ignited everything as Dean let out another small whimper and nodded. He hated this part of himself that wanted to be spoken to like this, to be infantilised by the other man—but damn, if he didn’t give into it every time. He could even say he felt his hole throb from the memory of having Benny inside of him. Purgatory had been a pretty nice deal considering how much sex Dean got to have; probably not the best sex for his mental health but fuck did it leave it satisfied and fill that nagging hole inside if only for a few moments. 

Benny’s eyes traced over Dean hungrily. “Touch yourself, sweetheart,” he said it softly and almost lovingly but Dean knew it was a command, had familiarised himself with that tone. The command ghosted over Dean’s skin with how close the two of them were and he could smell the bourbon heavy on Benny’s breath. 

Dean slipped a hand between the tight space between them and between his thighs and massaged his cock through the denim of his jeans. No underwear, so he was met with a beautiful kind of friction that had his eyes rolling up into his head. 

“I’ve missed that sweet little cunt of yours, cher,” Benny breathed out in a slightly huskier voice, “you gonna let me back in? Huh? Gonna let Daddy in so fuck you nice and full and leave you open and leaking?” Benny dips his head down and mouths at Dean’s neck, letting his normal teeth graze the skin with a promise.

Suddenly the porn drops out of existence and the only things left in the room are Dean and Benny.

“Yes, Daddy,” Dean responds immediately and hates himself for it, grinding his teeth and biting down on his tongue. Benny doesn’t seem to notice or, if he does, doesn’t give it away or care. That’s good, Dean can try and pretend he didn’t sound like a cheap whore.

When Benny gets bored of laving at Dean’s neck he tells him to strip; Dean does. After Benny’s stroked himself to pretty picture that Dean paints, he lays back on the bed and tells Dean to sit on him face; Dean does.

Its with his legs straddling Benny’s face and his hands gripped tight in the sheets around the vampire’s head that Dean feels a little more powerful. Not enough to pull away from Benny—because Benny’s really good at eating his ass—but he feels a little more grounded. It’s a nice prelude to the space he always finds himself in while Benny fucks him; though, he can find this serenity when Benny’s got a hand around his neck and is whispering sweet things that Dean knows he doesn’t mean into Dean’s ears.

But while he’s astride Benny’s face, Dean can think of all the things he wants to ask Benny; things like: “Where have you been?”, “Does this mean anything to you or is it just fucking?”, and he even gets to think about whether or not he loves Benny and that’s why he lets him in like this. He doubts that’s really it, Dean’s probably just weak; whatever.

And then they are in that position where Benny has a hand around Dean’s neck and is squeezing so hard, the edges of Dean’s vision blur a little. And that’s nice because like that he can’t really focus on much else can only really lull and smile at the ceiling and Benny’s face when it comes into view. Dean’s got a leg wrapped around Benny’s waist and the older man is fucking into him roughly but the only thing Dean can focus on is how that one speckle of paint on the ceiling kind of looks like a slice of pie and how content he is right now.

Benny rips his orgasm out of him and Dean legitimately screams—and then he cries. Benny continues fucking into him (a little harder because Dean’s crying must turn him on). Benny makes well on his promise because he comes a lot, per usual, and leaves Dean leaking.  
Benny looks Dean over before pulling out and retreating. Retreating from the hold of Dean and retreating from the shitty hotel room.

At some point Dean gets up and changes into a clean set of clothes. 

At some point Sam walks in with more information about whatever it is they’re hunting. (He asks if Dean has been crying because’s he’s observant like that apparently. Dean gives him nothing and waits until Sam fills him in completely on what it is that they need to be doing to prepare).

In the morning, after Sam’s left the hotel room, Dean fingers himself to the feeling of having Benny over and inside of him again. Benny’s come is still inside of Dean and it triggers something visceral inside of Dean. He doesn’t linger too much on it just fists his cock and gets the jerk off session over with.

Benny comes to visit Dean rather frequently after that first tryst.

—

The best part about it was that whether or not Benny was real or not he seemed to carry the same qualities as a ghost of some kind of hallucination and Dean was thankful for it. When they were finished Benny would throw on his jeans, zip them up slowly, throw on his shirt and leave. He always managed to somehow leave close to when Sam would return—somehow even allowing Dean a small bit of time to get himself together.

That Benny didn’t stay and coddle him…Dean wasn’t really sure how he felt about that. But this seemed to partially help with the emptiness that he felt inside. There was some aspect to this that granted him security without having to attach strings to it. A fuckbuddy that is in and out of your life for days, weeks, even months at a time but somehow managing to know when you needed what you did.

Because they couldn’t be anything more—Dean couldn’t take them being more.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://petershorcrux.tumblr.com)


End file.
